Last May a tree fell on our house.  Well, more like a tree fell IN our house.  There is nothing like being awoken in the middle of the night to the loudest crash you can imagine, followed by breaking glass and the sound of rain inside the house.  All of the home repairs that followed lit a fire under my hidden “HGTV Diva” tushy.  I found myself obsessed with getting our house in order! (I am thankful I did not know about Pinterest yet.  That would have been disasterous!)

When I sit in my home now, I marvel at it’s beauty.  I take great joy in having made an aesthetically beautiful home that my husband and I both love and enjoy.  I love making memories in the house and dreaming of new ones to come.

My old roommate and I used to name our home “The Healing House”  It was a sacred place, a place that we knew was safe, a place where we could be authentically ourselves and not fear judgement for it.  I think these sacred healing houses – these safe places that I’ve spoken of before, are all needed and even required.   They are not intended for hibernation or hiding out, though.

During my first five and a half years in Nashville, I lived in eight places.  I thrived off of a nomadic lifestyle, finding the thought of settling down frightening and burdensome.

I purchased my home two years ago and soon after was married.  Its in these last two years that I hear myself talking about the years we are going to live in our home and the seasons of life that we want to live through there.  All of a sudden my thoughts have shifted and I’m planning out the rest of my comfortable life.

This comfort has only breathed idleness and laziness in my life.  Where has my adventure gone?  Where has my passion for traveling and meeting new people gone?  What happened to the Laura who never felt like she had a physical home yet found deep joy in the home created by community?  Isn’t this how it’s supposed to be?

My brain is going a mile a minute these days.  I am correcting my course and resetting my vision.  Somewhere in the last couple of years I have forgotten how to dream.  I have become afraid of the world and am using all of my energy to create a safe home bubble in which to live.

Anyone else struggle with this?

How do you find balance?